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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

mallrats.

Today has been an absolute whirlwind of last minute christmas shopping!  The malls were absolutely insane and I am vowing to stay away from all shopping centers until 2009.  Christmas is obviously a time when people become stressed and on-edge which makes for great entertainment for those of us who were just at the mall for last minute bits and pieces (my real motivation for going shopping today, if we're being brutally honest).  


Here are some examples of christmas craziness observed today: 

I. Crazy Christmas Scenario in Hot Topic
Obnoxious Teenager - ::holds up shirt::  Which Slayer shirt do you think I should get Mom?

II. Crazy Christmas Text [apparently the madness rubbed off on me]

Jill via Text: Do you have Tremors? (the movie, not the neurological symptom)
Matt: Yes, thanks. 

Apparently Matt is no longer weirded out by me.  sad. 

III. Crazy Christmas Scenario in Barnes and Noble.

Barnes and Noble Employee: Can I help you with something, sir?
Middle Aged Guy: Um...I'm just trying to get something that my sister will like.
B&N Employee: Well, if you tell me about her I bet I could help you find something.
Guy: Oh, that's ok.  She's like Sarah Palin with an attitude.
B&N Employee: [doesn't skip a beat] We have some great books on weaponry and hunting downstairs....

**Jill is laughing her ass off at this point** 
So many things I would say if it were socially acceptable to do so.....
1. Sarah Palin with an attitude? That must have been pleasant to grow up with.
2. Sarah Palin with an attitude?  Here's some arsenic and we can solve this problem right now.
3. Sarah Palin with an attitude?  Isn't there a more concise way to say that, like the antichrist. 

You better believe I'll be back at the mall this time next year.  You can't make this stuff up. 

Merry Christmas, everyone! 

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