Sunday, June 22, 2008

and it came full circle.

It is just now starting to hit me that I have 7 days until I leave Wilmington.

Seven days until I leave the town I grew up in. Now, when I saw "the town I grew up in" I don't actually mean the town that I grew up in; I mean, I'm leaving the town that let me discover who I am. That helped me grow. That shaped me into who I am.

Five years ago I entered the University of North Carolina Wilmington campus a scared freshmen. I so deeply wanted to go to college but was irritated at how long it would take me to get my degree but I went there anyhow. On that campus I became an adult. I figured out what I wanted to do with my life, I got engaged, I met wonderful people, and made friends that would last a lifetime. While in Wilmington I made great friends, I got married, and got into graduate school...twice. And now I have to leave. I'm leaving for an unfullfilled dream, something I have wanted before I even know why I wanted it in the first place. But, I never thought it would be so hard to leave this life.

I am leaving to get my doctoral degree at Stanford University and Pacific Graduate School and I could not be happier, but at the same time I could not be more sad. Here is this place that is so much a part of who I am and I am leaving it in search of something better. But...can anything be better than this? I don't know; I'm so confused.

My final day of work was last thursday and it was an emotional day for me. As fate would have it my last activity would be to give incoming freshmen surveys at orientation. There I was giving the same surveys that I took 5 years ago. It was the weirdest feeling, the most incredible feeling...that i had surpassed UNCW's requirements for me and now I was in a position to impart my wisdom on the future of my alma mater.


Ugh. I don't want to leave. I so want to leave. This is going to be tough..........